I am listening to an audiobook right now on the secularity of our Western society in the modern age and how we got here from cultures and societies where God and faith was the entire foundation of life. It's pretty heavy reading, but listening to this author's thoughts has really made me reflect on a couple of things about our own beautiful faith and how we manifest it in this secular world.
In the most recent chapter I listened to, the author talks about the holidays of the past in the Western world like Carnaval and similar festivals. These were times to turn the social and moral order on its head, to publicly indulge in all sorts of activities that were usually considered at least inappropriate, but often downright sinful.
The author speaks about how these were a necessary part of life in a religious (Christian in this case) society, that these festivals of inversion not only were a sort of pressure valve for the otherwise "oppressed" population to let off steam, but that they were an important acknowledgement of those parts of human nature that exist within us and are integral to the human experience.
That last part about how these festivals of sinful behavior were necessary to let off steam from being "good" the rest of the year really made me think about Islam and my life as a Muslim.
I was struck with so much gratitude that Islam is a holistic faith that acknowledges the whole of the human being and works with us as Allah created us. Islam is not a faith that seeks to repress certain parts of our being in order to be "good," so much that we have to go completely insane to relieve that pressure a couple times a year, but Islam sees each of those more base parts of us and teaches us how to use and channel them in the best way possible.
I have always been grateful to be a convert, because I have the life experience to know, truly know, that the Islamic way is so much better.
I have felt the effects of alcohol, I've navigated the drama of mixed friend groups, I've had boyfriends, I've dressed "however I wanted," lived my days according to my whims and fancies with no real anchors to something important, and followed whatever morals "felt" good in the moment.
And I'm not trying to glorify any of that - in fact it is quite the opposite. My life as a Muslim, even when I struggle with certain things, has been so, so much more content. More at ease, more fulfilled. Not to say it has been easy and I haven't struggled, but this faith has anchored me to something so much bigger than myself, the Truth that is Allah, that makes it all worth it.
So today, I want to bring a bit more challenging of a reflection prompt to you.
While I love Islam and am so grateful for my faith, there are things I struggled with when converting, and things I still struggle with.
In the beginning it had to do with letting go of certain ideologies and ideas that I had been inundated with my whole life and realizing that there were other, better, ways of thinking out there. Now, post divorce, remarriage, and first baby, it has more to do with figuring out who I really am as an American convert to Islam, and how that manifests in my life.
We all have these individual struggles, doubts, insecurities.
It brings to mind the verse,
Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know. Quran 2:216
So my question for you today is this: Where do you encounter resistance in your journey with or practice of Islam?
Think about that resistance and really explore it. Why are you feeling that resistance? What is underneath that - is it an ideology that isn't from Islam, a personal distaste for something, a lack of understanding?
Once you've really dug into why you don't feel good about a certain thing, go find more information on it. Make an effort to really look into it with an open mind, ready for deeper understanding (Yaqeen Institute is a great resource for this kind of reading).
How can you begin to work towards submission to Allah in that one area? Not 100%, right this moment. Just the first steps.
Depending on what your struggles are, these questions can be a lot, and that is ok! But growth can't happen without gently exploring that resistance. Take some time with your favorite journal to just do some reflecting, and see where Allah is inviting you to grow.