Paradox. I was never the kind that was comfortable with taking pictures of myself, although I do it.

Probably due to how my mom looked down upon me checking myself in the mirror for an extended time.⠀

When I do take selfies, I'm usually too shy to post it anywhere. And if I do, I either delete it right away or at some point in the future. This is the default me.

But now... reflecting on myself the past few days, I find that I'm taking more pictures of myself and am more willing to post my pictures with my hijab.⠀

Observing this behavior and shaking my head, I smile at my ego. And tell it, "Oh, no. That's not how it works."⠀Because I've covered my awra doesn't make it ok, all of a sudden, to promote myself. And that's where many of us lose the true meaning of hijab.

Covering the hair is the easiest thing one can do. But it's the 'why' to covering that is hard to hold on to. It's not the cloth that covers my hair that checks the box in a list of Muslim things I'm supposed to do. It's the modest mannerism I hold myself accountable to, and the box on this doesn't get checked until I make it to Allah.

I find it funny and I am not ashamed. I'm only human and look at myself as a work in progress.

I am aware of my immaturity.

I am aware of my ego.

I am aware of my paradoxical tendencies.

So again, I smile looking at my ego and tell it, 'Because I took a step to the right (externally) doesn't make it ok for me to run 2 miles to the left (internally).'⠀

Let progress be in your heart... in your mind... in your soul... in the light that shines from inside.⠀

Now, remember the beginning of the story... the hijab spurred a change in me, my thoughts. And that is my point. This is not about anyone else, but myself.My message to you is to be aware of yourself. Make time to reflect and be honest with yourself. Most importantly love yourself.

Be understanding, forgiving, and accepting of who you are. Hold yourself to high standards and push towards growth and development.

InshaAllah through self-awareness, we grow to find peace within ourselves and exude it through every pore of our being. 🌷Umeda

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