When I'm at work, esp. the last few hours, I get excited to see my kids.
I miss their never-ending stories.
I miss their hugs.
I miss simply being around them.⠀
Then when we get home, they start fighting.
They complain about dinner and homework. Or they all talk at the same time.⠀
Sometimes I can make it through, but other times I blow up and start yelling at them.
Sometimes, unfortunately, it only takes one bad choice from their side for me to be snarky or 'not-in-the-mood' the rest of the day.⠀
I look at myself, thinking, 'What happened? Wasn't I the one who wanted to leave everything else and just BE with my kids?'⠀
Then I look at myself 'not-in-the-mood' when my husband comes home. And I think, 'Here I go again. How often does this man get to see me in a good mood? There is no stability.'⠀
In honesty, when I am around moody people, I get exhausted as I don't know which mood they are in. But, I admit, I tend to get moody myself. For the simplest things, my switch goes off and it takes me a long time to bring myself up again.⠀
Sometimes the world feels a little lighter and I smile more and I laugh more... and I can just see the sparkles in my family's eyes watching me back. Those are the times, I realize, they are watching me in wonder... soaking it all in... while it lasts. While it lasts. This makes me sad.⠀
See we underestimate the importance of character in Islam. Overcoming emotions, building our character and gaining stability is fundamental in increasing iman.
Character is a bigger battle humanity fights and it extends over to our relationship with Allah and our religious practices.
Overcoming emotions is not only about putting on a smile when we feel frustrated... it extends to talking ourselves into getting up from the couch for salah after a long day.
Stability begins from cooling down emotional triggers and extends to being able to suppress the tongue when it wants to say awful things.
Stability begins from nourishing the mind and soul so it isn't so short and extends to persevering through steep dips in iman.⠀
Today I make dua for more stability through emotional ups and downs.⠀