instruction manual for children

Parents: 'I wish there was an instruction manual.' By the time we feel like we conquered a stage, the child moves on to the next stage leaving us blindsided and frustrated again. ⠀
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What we don't realize is that we also don't come with an instruction manual. We also go through so many different stages day in day out and leave our children confused, blindsided, and frustrated. ⠀
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We, as adults, have a good stack of experiences (big and small) that can be applied and reapplied to different situations. And with trials and errors, we've found ways to 'figure things out.'⠀
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Our children, however, don't have enough dots to connect... Enough points to apply... Enough experiences to know our intentions... Enough good to notice the bad... Enough terms to place on definitions.⠀
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In the Quran, Allah introduces Himself to us with 99 names. We swing through years of parenthood with one: Mom. Dad. Accept. ⠀
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Allah tells us stories and lessons to learn from. He provided us with communication to guide us throughout our lives. The form of communication we deliver to our children is to do what we asked. Why? Because I said so. ⠀
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For a job, I wrote directions for new features for software developers. Let me tell you, I've frustrated a lot of developers. ⠀
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I would say, 'I should be able to go to this page from this page and do this function because this is what I need.' They would look at me with big, confused eyes. What are you talking about? ⠀
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They needed, 'Put a rectangle button on the lower right of the page. Click on it once. That will take you to Page x.' Etc. ⠀
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We are talking DETAILS. Details that seemed SO OBVIOUS to me. SO OBVIOUS! Why do I need to tell you to click on the button. Isn't that SO OBVIOUS? To them, it was not. Their brain works in different ways.⠀
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And this is true with kids. Today, remind yourself to communicate with your kids. Communicate why you do things the way you do. Don't hide your imperfection. Don't expect them to just DO things. Don't expect them to understand or cut the opportunity for them to understand. ⠀
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Kids need instruction manuals even more than you do can only attain these manuals from you.