healing after loss

I was asked today to write about death of a close family member. The part I will focus on is healing of the heart. ⠀

With any loss: human, relationship, career, path, perspective, one thing I know for sure that gets a heart going is a new challenge. ⠀

One thing that gets a heart going is HOPE. And awareness that LIFE KEEPS GOING. Surprisingly, just fine after the loss. It just takes a lot of time to realize and accept that.

If you feel like you are dwelling on a loss, try out something new. Take on a new project. Or a new hobby. Or a skill... get creative. Try out an exercise program. ⠀

There are a million 30 Days of _________ challenges out there. Settle on one and ride it out like a champ. You can't believe how empowering it is to start something and take it to the finish. ⠀

No, nothing, absolutely nothing will take away the pain, the memories, the emptiness... especially not right away. ⠀

But one thing is for sure... from Allah comes the most miraculous healing even at times of complete hopelessness. ⠀

Ask Allah for healing. For peace. For acceptance. And be grateful for the moments you got to experience. For the moments which have made you a better person, one way or another, knowingly or unknowingly. ⠀

And now, get busy. No time to dwell! Start your duas. Be grateful. Think of all the positivity that remains around you still. Think of ways you can improve yourself. LEARN LEARN LEARN. And take your iman to the next level. ⠀

No more autopilot life. It's time to wake up. It's time to LIVE. It's time to take things into your OWN HANDS! It's time to break the old cycle and begin a journey of reinvention.


Of course this is quite simplified and easy to say from someone not in the thick of it all. And the strategy I stand for is to busy your mind with positivity and challenge so you don't DWELL on loss and get stuck in grief. 

Sometimes it takes people heart-crushing wake up calls to learn this... but life is very simple: you are here today, you may not be tomorrow. He/she is here today (I point at your loved ones), he/she may not be tomorrow.⠀

When you wake up tomorrow, look yourself in the mirror, put your finger tips on your pulse and say THANK YOU from the bottom of your heart. ALHAMDULILLAH!!! I got another chance!!! Because a million people didn't wake up today. Or if they did, a million people have at least one person they love who didn't get to wake up today.

Loss seems like a rare experience but we are experiencing it by millions on a daily basis. It is FACT of life. It is inevitable. So reflect on your relationships today. Is there anyone you DWELL on? Completely depend on? Can't live without? You may want to take a step back and set more realistic expectations. DO LOVE! Cherish. Appreciate. Care for. Honor. But don't dwell. We belong to Allah and we WILL return. We WILL return.

See the one you lost as a symbol of YOU GOT TO EXPERIENCE! You were blessed to have this person. You will never be the same because of them. You will carry some parts of them with you always... what they taught you... how they affected you... how they made you feel. Absorb those blessings. The rest let go. Allah is the maker of BEST PLANS. Accept.

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