I learned a lot about giving advice from a few events over the last month.
Here are my realizations:
- how naive I was to freely land advice to those who asked for it... sometimes even when they didn't ask for it.
- how much people don't tell you when they describe their problem or situation.
- how much people twist their story to support their ego when they tell it to you.
- how vital it is to know events from different people AND different times to be able to draw out conclusions (i.e. advice). Time especially because people tend to be overly flawed when emotional.
- how seriously people take your advice even though they knowingly left out information from you.
- why 'disclaimers' exist. People shift responsibility from their problems every chance they get.
- no amount of advice helps a person until they decide to take action or change their thinking.
- not to apply myself in their situation to give advice because so many factors separate them from acting or thinking like how I would: their personalities, their environment, how they were raised, past life experiences, types of relationships, priorities, etc.
- the best way to respond to inquiries is to ask good questions and let them answer it (as hard as it is to sit and wait for them to get to realizations.)
Remember how I spoke about being your own brand manager? Now, I learned you also have to be your own lawyer. Less is better until you know the story from multiple perspectives.
What have your experiences taught you about giving advice?