To consistently progress in your iman and your relationship with Allah, you will need to forgive yourself here and there along the way.
There will be feelings of laziness, guilt, shame, and failure along your journey.
You are not alone.
We are all struggling with it.
You have to adamantly say no to the negative feelings... and the expectation of being a perfect Muslim... and the concept of 'all or nothing.' Islam is not all or nothing.
Islam is progress.
We, Muslims, are not perfect, and will never be as long as Shaytan and Nafs exist.
This is life. And there is no shame in failing.
There is no shame in contradicting.
There is no shame in overwhelm.
As long as our mind is set on Allah and you keep moving forward. Let go of all your negative feelings. They are only unproductive. It doesn't matter where you were in your iman last year or last decade. What matters is in a year from now, your iman will be in a way better place, inshaAllah. Start fresh today. Forgive yourself.