finding happiness

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is that happiness is inside me and not outside. I used to seek happiness in moments, and moments would pass by without pouring glorious dust of happiness.

I would seek happiness in things, and the happiness would run away from me as soon as held those glorious things on my hand.

I would seek happiness in some time in the future, and years would pass by without trace of that glorious future time.

At some point through my journey of happy-seeking, I learned happiness is something I generate (with the help of Allah). Its source is not outside of me. I generate it. I make it happen. I ignite it. I produce it. Happiness waits for me to come. Happiness asks me to stay. I allow or disallow.

It’s a mental switch. I train myself through thoughts, through speech, through choices, through priorities.

Thoughts: Negative thoughts are a constant. And I constantly cut them out as soon as I am aware they are happening.

Speech: To others, before I say anything I consider if what I’m about to say will make a positive affect or negative. If not positive, then why even say it. They have problems of their own to listen to mine. And they are not going to change for me if I’m about to criticize. And I monitor what I tell myself. Am I lifting myself or shutting down?

Choices: Before any choice comes a question. Before any question comes a choice to pause so you can question. Before a choice to pause comes self-love. Self-love makes you pause to question which choice will be good for you in both short- and long-term.

Priorities: Only things that bring me positive vibes are allowed in my day. If such and such robs me of joy, then sorry, I won’t make you a priority. I’m a woman of priorities. I write them down and remind myself every single day!


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