I'm going to my nephew's birthday party here in a few minutes. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me a big family and we celebrate each of them. We do presents, dinner (aka gluttony), the birthday song, cake and candle and everything you can think of that would make Prophet Muhammad (saws) cringe.
That's my dirty little secret. The more Muslim women I talk to, the more I realize how much shame and guilt they have in some of the things they do. Everyone is hiding something and that obviously ends up being a vicious cycle. 'She looks like a perfect Muslim. I am not. I feel more terrible than I was already feeling. They are trying way harder than I am. I'm a terrible Muslim.'And then there are some who are completely blind to their own bad habits. 'I wear the hijab! It's not so bad if I'm not praying. I have kids. I work. It's hard. Omg! Can you believe she is not wearing the hijab?' 'I've read the Quran a million times. I'm the encyclopedia of the Ayats. Ah it's not so bad that I'm dating.
Times have changed! Dude, why don't you read a little more Quran?
It's your obligation.'To the first group, I say be careful in the type of emotions you are allowing yourself to feel. Guilt and shame can be paralyzing. And please do know we ALL have our dirty little secrets, whether we admit to them or not. To the second group, I say be carefull in how you convey your message. Criticism is very helpful as long as it is not in a judgmental way. To both I say don't let your dirty secrets weigh you down. Allah loves those who strive. Who try hard. Who are patient. There is a reason why he introduces himself with Arrahmani Arrahim. The most merciful. He knows we will need his mercy more than anything else in the world. And please, remember: Want to save others? Put on the mask on yourself first. 🌷Umeda