choices and negative cycles

What do you think of this? 

I’m definitely of the kind that reaches out for junk food when I catch the cold. I know I need more wholesome foods to increase my immunity and to heal quicker, but still, I keep reaching for the junk. 

And same with iman. When I’m low, I do know I SHOULD do this, do that. But I keep reaching for the bad choices or simply the choices that keep taking me farther away from worship... deeper into this negative cycle.

For example, on Friday, I missed all my prayers except Fajr. Reason: ‘life’ happened. I was stressed, multitasking, responding to emergencies, and was in a new setting.

There was a moment when I could have totally locked the door, placed a note saying I will be back in 5, and pray in the back room. There was an opportunity and on a usual day, I would take it in a heartbeat. It’s easy. There is nothing to think about. It’s literally 5 minutes. Get it done and keep doing ‘life.’

But when I get into this bad cycle, I seriously have to talk a whole TED talk to get myself off the seat. But hey I had time to do an Insta LIVE. The shame... 

But I have to say this saying isn’t always true. We sin everyday. And still run back to Allah for the joy of worship. It’s the mindset. Will I let sin drag me along or will I proactively find the way out?

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