but i want it all

I sat in the car today and thought ok, I have 20 minutes from here to work to listen to something. What is it going to be?

Islamic lecture?
Motivational/success videos to get pumped for work?
Audiobook I haven't finished for months?

All priorities. All necessary for my development.

My husband frequently calls me out on the fact that I want it all and I want it together.
I want to be a good Muslim.
... an on-top-of-it-all mom.
... a committed clean eater.
... a wife he always looks forward to be with.
... a successful career-woman.
.... an impactful entrepreneur.
... a worthy daughter.
... an inspiring and supportive aunt.
... a caring, dependable, fun sister and friend.

And it's frustrating that I have limited resources and have to give up some of my priorities... although I want them all!
But that's the reality of life, all life areas, and even being a Muslim.

Yes, it would be wonderful to be an exceptional Muslim. But often, knowing we can't achieve it holds us from getting to be AVERAGE Muslims.

In Tafsir, I read: Those who follow the middle course are "The ones who fulfill their obligations and avoid things that are forbidden, but they may neglect some good deeds and do some things which are disliked." And there is merit in them.

We are limited and can't be perfect. There is no need to expect ourselves to be perfect. Unfortunately, we can't have it all and we can't have it all together. But we CAN move forward and strive to grow our faith, one little step at a time.

I decided to go with the news today. I may listen to the news only 2x/week, an Islamic lecture 1x/week, a motivational video when I can and hold on to audio books until my next trip... not enough to be 'good', but even average will get me somewhere. And I will find comfort in being average in all my roles and be grateful that I get to have all those roles and all together.

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